


Family First And Always

by neffy1982



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Minor Character Death, POV Jamie, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28294908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neffy1982/pseuds/neffy1982
Summary: "Do something to make them smile for Christmas. Something extra special."What exactly can 14-year old Jamie Sawyer-Danvers do to make the women in her family happy this Christmas, while navigating high school?
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44
Collections: Secret Sanvers | A Sanvers Winter Holiday 2020 Event





	Family First And Always

**Author's Note:**

> For Allie / SukiLives:  
> Merry Christmas Allie! I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and I do hope you enjoy this fic!
> 
> (Special thanks for Erin (ironicpotential), izzy and Lily for the advice on publishing research papers.)

“What are we doing for Thanksgiving?” Rajesh asks as he piles his plate with spaghetti and meat balls.

I shift closer to him in the line and peer at the lunch offerings at school. My lips curl at the sad excuses that passes for food. Is that real meat? Maybe I should really be a vegan like mom.

“That sauce looks like death,” I warn my best friend as he takes a generous serving.

He shrugs. “I like to live dangerously.”

“Yeah right,” I scoop plain spaghetti onto my plate and grab a bowl of wilting salad. “That’s why you’re eating beef at school where your mother will not find out.”

Raj grins. If he were not my best friend I probably would have swooned at the mischievous twinkle in his brown eyes and the dimples on his smooth face. “You’re too pretty to be a boy,” I always tell him. At nearly six-feet tall with brown skin, broad shoulders, silky jet-black hair and the bone structure of a Bollywood movie star, Raj had most of the female population desperate for his attention and the guys vying for his friendship.

“Water or processed juice?” he asks while I pay for lunch.

“Processed juice with a mountain of sugar please.” I cannot find my appetite, but I need fuel to get me through the rest of the day. Carbs and sugar might also improve my mood.

Raj laughs again while carefully balancing two bottles of orange juice on his tray. I follow him to a half-filled table with empty seats. A few girls call out for me to join them, but I am not in the mood to be popular captain of the girls’ soccer team right now.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Raj says with a full mouth of meatballs.

I cringe at the sight of sauce leaking from the side of his mouth. This is why I refuse to date guys in high school. Well, one of the reasons why.

“I chose to ignore your question.” I twirl the white pasta around my fork. I know what he is doing, and I am not falling for it. I know he is watching me trying to gauge my reactions. That is why he took the damn beef meatballs so it would annoy me into talking about everything that happened and is happening. If he annoys me again, I am calling his mother. Best friends be damned.

“I saw the Spurs drop 4 points on the table.”

I drop my fork and glare at him. The bastard went for the jugular.

That’s it. I am calling his mother after school.

Raj’s face is pure innocence. “I’m just saying what I saw.” He points at his phone. “So, Thanksgiving. Your family is welcome to join mine.”

Why is he making me think about Thanksgiving without Gran? This will be our first Thanksgiving without Gran and I do not know how to process all the stupid emotions inside of me.

“Lena already organized Thanksgiving dinner at her place,” I mutter, unable to stop myself. He nudges the forgotten salad into my view. “Mom said mama doesn’t want to disturb Gran’s home until she and Aunt Kara decide on what they’re gonna do with it. They’re still…”

“Grieving,” Raj says.

I sigh. It is more than that. It is almost as though they blame themselves for Gran’s death.

The salad suddenly blurs into a green blob and I shake my head. I am not having a breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria.

Raj pushes his empty plate away and leans back into the chair. “Since Lena already handled Thanksgiving, what are you doing to make Christmas suck less for them?”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong Jamie, it will suck big time regardless but is there something you can do for your moms and aunt that will ease their pain? When my _daadee ma_ passed two years ago, my cousins and I did the most outrageous things to distract our parents. Granted most of the antics resulted in us getting grounded and almost in jail, but I’m sure you can find legal ways to make your family smile for Christmas.”

I ponder his words. It is a better option than feeling powerless these past few months, watching the best people in my life live under clouds of sadness. 

* * *

_Do something to make them smile for Christmas. Something extra special._

Like what?

A chilly breeze dances with the golden leaves on the lawn at the front of my home. Mom is going to be annoyed because she raked the yard yesterday morning. I am waiting on her to go on our daily evening runs to the nearby park. It helps strengthen my endurance since I play mid-field on the soccer pitch. Another yellow leaf falls to the ground. Mama and I have this ongoing bet on who will predict the date of the first snowfall. The loser gets to do the most hated chores for one week. She won more times than I could remember. I have always wondered if the DEO has a secret machine with alien tech that can accurately predict the weather.

Maybe I can do the losing chores this year even if I win?

I sigh. I start warming up on the spot. The door behind me opens and Mom rushes to my side.

“I’m here, I’m here,” she hastily ties her hair into a messy bun. She is already dressed and wearing a sweatshirt printed SAWYER at the back.

“Ooohhh sweet gear mom,” I tease, “I wonder who got you that awesome shirt from the best soccer club in the league?”

Mom laughs. “Thank you. I got it from my favorite person in the world. But isn’t Liverpool the best club right now?”

I growl. “Watch it Captain Sawyer. I know where you sleep.”

We start at an easy pace. She takes a deep breath. “The air feels so refreshing. I was buried all day with paperwork, so it was nice to see your reminder text about running. How was school?”

We turn a corner. “Are we going to the park or do you prefer staying around the block?” I ask instead.

Mom pauses. “Alex will be home in an hour, so we’ll stay nearby. I want to be around when she gets in.”

I nod but my heart sinks. Mom has barely left Mama’s side since Gran left earlier this year. To the outside world, Mama basically looks the same. A little more tired than usual but she is still Alex Freaking Badass Danvers. No one else knows that she cries almost every night, condemning herself for not realizing Gran was sick until it was too late. Sometimes when I am studying late at nights, I hear their whispers and mama’s muffled sobs. Mom has been so loving and patient with Mama all these months. I am dreading that the upcoming holidays will be hard on all of us.

“School was great,” I say keeping the conversation light, “oh don’t forget I’ve got football practice tomorrow and after I’m heading to Raj’s to finish our physics project.”

“How is Raj?” Mom easily avoided a large rock on our path, “I haven't seen him around lately. I weirdly miss him, but I don’t miss my food disappearing from the fridge.”

I roll my eyes. “The idiot is great.”

Mom laughs. “What did he do this time? Wait wait,” she waves her hand, “let me guess. It has something to do with Jenny.”

I stumble on the flat road. Mom’s lightning-fast reflexes grab my arm. I stop and stare at her. Her pretty face is shiny with sweat but bright with mischief. “How’d you-?”

Mom doubles over from laughing at me. “You’re easy to read Jamie. You get flustered with only two things: soccer and the person you’re crushing on.”

“I am not crushing on anyone!” I shriek. A startled brown bird zips out of a nearby tree, squawking at us as it flies away.

Mom pats my shoulder. “You may look a lot like me, but you’re Alex’s daughter in so many other ways. Your mama only gets riled up about her science research and her crushes as well.”

“Moommm” I pout, regressing to a six-year-old.

Being a bisexual and actively dating in high school is something I avoid like the plague. I have seen girls get bullied, outed, and called whores for liking guys and girls. I cannot deal with that, so I have a ‘no dating until college’ policy.

“It’s true,” mom continues, oblivious to my internal struggle, “don’t you remember how Alex would get when she and Eliza were deep into their joint research?”

Wait.

Joint research.

Mom and Gran were writing research papers about Martian physiology. They spent a lot of time together and it was groundbreaking research that Mama kept trying to convince Gran to submit for publication. 

My heart skips a beat.

This is it.

This is the special thing.

My eyes widen as my excitement grows. “Mom, mom!” I grab her hands and she stop mid-sentence. “The research papers.”

Mom tilts her head slightly to the side. “What about the research papers?”

‘I know what will make mama smile for Christmas.”

Now I need to figure out how.

* * *

I was nine years old when I realized that my favorite superhero was my favorite aunt. I do not remember everything about the hostile aliens rampaging throughout the city, but I do remember playing a coding game on my iPad when mama walked into the bedroom. She had a gun in one hand and a packed overnight bag in the other.

Mama never wears her gun at home. She was dressed in all black DEO clothes; gloves and her short hair was slicked back from her face. Then there was a gust of wind and Supergirl was next to mom. I gasped when she suddenly appeared in my room. I forgot about mama and scrambled to Supergirl.

“Hi! I’m Jamie. We met four times before,” I said breathlessly and held out my hand even though I wanted to hug her. Mom always says a firm handshake is the best way to greet someone.

Supergirl and Mama were talking about something serious because they were not smiling but when she turned to greet me, she had the prettiest smile on her face. She knelt and hugged me for the first time. I remember feeling like Christmas morning. My hands where wrapped around her neck. Her hair felt soft like Aunt Kara’s. She even wore the same perfume.

The next thing I knew Mama was bundling me into my winter coat, kissing me goodbye and Supergirl saying to hold tight. Then we were flying high in the cloudless, sun-light sky. That was the first time I went flying with Supergirl.

I do not know how long it took to reach Gran’s home because I kept my eyes closed and my face pressed against Supergirl’s strong shoulder.

We landed gently on Gran’s back porch. Supergirl made sure I was steady on the ground before calling out to Gran. She turned to look at me and said, “I have to go now. Stay with Eliza ok Jamie and stay inside the house. I know you love playing on the beach but do not go outside for a few days. It’s not safe right now.”

I nodded because I could not speak. _Supergirl knows I love the ocean! This is the best day of my life._

I did not realize Gran was here until she hugged me and smoothed my flying curls away from my face.

“Jamie, promise me you’ll stay inside where it’s safe,” Supergirl insisted. She held out her two pinkie fingers. I gasped. Two pinkies meant The Ultimate Promise. Aunt Kara invented the rules and symbols for the Ultimate Promise and only the both of us knew about it.

I linked my pinky fingers with hers. “I promise.”

She kissed my forehead and left before I could blink. She never did that before. A few minutes later Gran was setting a bowl of Spaghetti-O’s in front of me when I asked, “Do you have any pictures of Aunt Kara without her glasses?”

The pot slipped from her hands and fell to the floor.

It was that night I knew my aunt was faster than a speeding bullet.

**_Present Day:_ **

I open my bedroom window five minutes before Aunt Kara could fly in. My lights are dimmed which is not unusual if I am finishing homework. Moms will not suspect anything. I pull on my lucky dark blue Tottenham hoodie before I start shivering from the cold.

This will work. Aunt Kara will help, and it will work. I just need everything to happen before December 25th. I glance at the poster of Alex Morgan above my bed. She is smiling and holding a trophy in her Tottenham soccer uniform.

“This will work,” I tell Alex Morgan. She is still smiling so I take that as confirmation. Maybe I should text Raj at this ungodly hour. Yes, he will want payback for waking him up, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. This is exactly what he suggested I do. Something extra special and meaningful.

Supergirl flies silently into my bedroom. In two steps I am in her arms.

“I miss you too,” she kisses the top of my head. I lean back and study her face. There are dark smudges under her eyes that the makeup cannot hide. They remind me of the circles under Mama’s eyes.

“How are you?” I ask.

“I’m great,” she replied in a forced cheerful tone. That is another thing she and Mama have mastered lately. “What’s all this secrecy about? What can’t you tell me over the phone?”

I stifle a sigh. I want to reassure her that it is not her fault she did not hear Gran’s heart stop in time. It is not her fault that she was halfway around the world when Gran cried out for her before she collapsed from her sudden heart attack. The guilt of not being fast enough to save another mother is soul crushing but Aunt Kara does not have to carry it. I want to tell her all of this, but I do not know where to start.

Instead, I say, “I had to talk to you without Mama knowing. It’s nothing bad,” I added hurriedly when she frowned, “‘it’s about a Christmas gift I want to get for her, and I need your help.”

Aunt Kara’s entire face brightened. “Really? What is it?”

Before I could blink, she is sitting on my bed and motions for me to continue.

“Before Gran...left, she and mama were working on a research paper.”

Kara nods. “Yes, something about Martians.”

“It’s actually about Martians’ respiratory systems and their ability to process the increased levels of oxygen and nitrogen in our atmosphere versus that of Mars.”

Aunt Kara beams like the sun in the sky. My face suddenly feels warm and I decide to stare at my poster of Harry Kane scoring a goal. “I want to get it published in a journal for them. Both Mama and Gran.”

I glance at my aunt. She is still gaping at me, but her eyes are glistening in the low lights. “Oh, Aunt Kara please don’t cry.” I rush to hug her.

She sniffs. “These are happy tears. Your parents are so lucky to have you. Alex will love this.”

I hug her tighter, trying my best to hold back my tears. We stay like that for a few minutes until she squeezes my arms. “Ok so what’s the plan?” She squares her shoulders as though she is about to start a rescue mission.

“You need to get the file from mama’s computer at the DEO.”

Aunt Kara’s jaw drops. It looks funny especially since she is wearing the Supergirl suit. “How am I supposed to do that? That thing is under who knows how many firewalls and passcodes. For all I know it needs a blood sacrifice.”

I giggle. Aunt Kara sounds like her usual self. This is definitely a good idea. “Ask someone who knows how to hack the DEO.”

Aunt Kara pauses. “Oh yeah. There’s Brainy. Ok I can do this. When do you need it?”

“As soon as possible. Google said it can take between 30-45 days for a first response. The Thanksgiving holidays will buy us some time.”

Aunt Kara agrees. “I’ll call Brainy in the morning and let him know what’s happening. He’ll definitely find it on Alex’s computer.”

I collapse on my bed. We have a plan that is going to be executed. “Thanks so much for helping with this. By the way, what do you want for Christmas?”

Aunt Kara tickles the side of my face with my hair. “I already have the best niece.”

I roll my eyes. Why are adults so corny? Speaking of corny…

“Hey Aunt Kara, has Supergirl ever been to Nebraska? Uncle Tony called mom a few days ago and I overheard them talking.”

* * *

**_Two Days After Thanksgiving._ **

It takes Brainy a few hours to locate all the files on Mama’s computer. Mom and I spend more time completing submission forms for the _Journal of American Association for Alien Physiology_ _._ We are hiding in my bedroom more than usual and hoping Mama will not notice. It is a nice bonus that mom and I are spending more time together.

“I’m very proud of you for doing this,” Mom says as she tries to copy Mama’s e-signature on my computer. She made me promise never to speak a word of it to anyone, otherwise we will both be in jail for fraud.

“Thanks. I just hope it makes her feel connected with Gran even though she’s gone. Sort of like tying up loose ends.” I glance at Mom who is still focused on the computer screen. “What about you Mom? What special gift do you want for Christmas?”

“I already have you Jamie.”

Ugh. “No sweet talk,” I lightly tap her shoulder, “what does Maggie Sawyer, the decorated Captain of National City Police Department always wanted for Christmas as a kid?”

Mom chuckles. “Wow! I’m being honored with my full title huh. You must be serious about this.”

“Of course, I am,” I smirk while scanning the research papers on my phone for the twelfth time, “If I can pull this off for Mama, then think of what more I can do. The possibilities are endless. Come on mom. There must be a special bonsai plant or something that was on your list for Santa.”

Mom simply ignores me as she pastes Mama’s signature on the final document. “That’s the last of it. Is everything else ready?”

I nod as my eyes fell on something. Or lack of something.

My stomach twists into knots. “Mom can you search that folder for a file titled ‘Final body density results’?” 

My fingers fly across my phone screen. Please let it be in the folder. Please let it be in the folder.

“I’m not seeing it in the folder,” Mom says.

No no no no.

I jump from the bed and leap across the room, grabbing the mouse from my mom’s hands to search myself. My mouth gets heavier as the seconds tick by.

“It’s not here,” I whisper. Why isn’t it here?

Mom wraps her arm around my waist. “What’s not here? The test results?”

I nod. Did I screw this up already?

“Okay,” Mom says in her calm, let’s-reason-this-out Captain’s voice, “If Alex and Eliza finished all the experiments then results are probably somewhere else.”

“Where?” I squeaked. If this does not happen, I do not know what I’ll do. I am only thinking about Mama silently torturing herself for not realizing Gran was sick and suffering with this senseless remorse when she should not have to.

Mom rubs my back. “It’s probably in her computer or lab at the DEO.”

Yes. That makes sense.

I grab my phone from my back pocket to speed-dial Aunt Kara.

Mom catches my hand. “Your aunt is busy saving the world right now. Call Brainy. He can multitask.”

“And he’s already at the DEO,” I finish her thoughts, tapping the speaker button.

My legs quiver like jelly while I pace my room. Brainy answers after two rings. “Hello Jamie Sawyer-Danvers.”

I almost collapse in relief. “Brainy. Hi. Listen, I need your help. It’s about the folder you got from my mother’s computer. Something is missing.”

“Ah yes. The body density results.”

I stop pacing and stare at mom who shrugs. “How’d you know it’s missing?”

“I read the paper and realized it’s incomplete,” he says as though it is the most obvious thing in the world.

Mom shakes her head.

He continues before I could scream. “You’re probably wondering why I didn’t tell you. Well, by my calculations, I knew I had enough time to find the missing section and get it to you before your deadline thus eliminating unnecessary dialogue and uncontrollable teenage angst.”

Did - did he just imply I am moody? I glare at the phone hoping he feels my uncontrollable teenage angst. Mom is trying her best to muffle her laughter against a pillow.

“I just sent it to your inbox, complete with your mother’s and grandmother’s signatures. You will be successful if you submit everything today. Hold on Jaime. Supergirl, you are approaching North Korea’s airspace. Change your course. Thank you for waiting Jaime. Now, I have a question for you. Do you still wear those British football clothes with the bird? I am considering getting you a Christmas gift.”

“What?” Mom and I ask in unison. Mom has a confused look on her face as though someone suggested she try a weird food combination like spaghetti and bananas.

My eyes fall to the logo of the black and white Tottenham Hotspur scarf that is draped across the back of my chair. The logo is a bird.

I do not know if to laugh or cry.

* * *

**_Five Days Before Christmas_ **

The email account that Brainy had set up to mirror Mama’s official DEO account sends me a notification while I am elbow deep in cookie batter. Mama is sitting in the middle of the living room checking the bulbs on several strings of Christmas lights. The tree is already up and decorated but waiting for either the star or angel. Joy to the World starts playing from Mama’s phone and she is humming along.

I quickly wash my hands and check my phone. One unread email from the _Journal of American Association for Alien Physiology._

Breathe Jamie breathe.

I check to make sure mama is still distracted in the living room before I open the email.

_“Dear Dr. Danvers,_

_We are pleased to inform you that your paper has been submitted and confirmed for publication, pending peer review.”_

The email goes on for three more paragraphs, but I am already jumping in the kitchen and screaming into my hands.

I did it!

We did it!

This is really happening! Mama and Gran are going to be published in a journal!

My hands shake so badly that I nearly drop my phone into the cookie batter. I want to call mom and scream but mama will suspect something, and I need to tell someone before I burst and ruin the surprise before Christmas. I send mom a text message.

“WE DID IT MOM WE DID IT! MAMA AND GRAN ARE GONNA BE PUBLISHED NEXT YEAR IN THE JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

* * *

**_ Christmas Morning at the Sawyer-Danvers Home. _ **

It is Christmas morning, and we are all sitting around the Christmas tree. Aunt Kara and I are wearing our matching outrageous Christmas sweaters. It is bright green with a pink snowman that glows in the dark. Mom and Mama are wearing their usual Mrs. & Mrs. sweaters while Lena is in a soft, casual yet classy red pants suit that is supposed to be pajamas. Most of the presents are already unwrapped. My haul of Tottenham merchandise was bigger this year and I am insanely pleased about that.

Mom is still in awe of the Bonsai tree aunt Kara and I flew to Nebraska to find for her. It was the first one she ever owned and did not get to take with her when she had to live with her aunt. Uncle Tony had kept it. She already video called him, crying her thanks.

A sharp yelp has Aunt Kara racing to the laundry room. She brings out a cute, fluffy white puppy she named Krypto. When I had gone to Mama about the idea of getting a pet for Aunt Kara, she immediately called Lena and they both tracked down a dog that physically looked like the Kryptonian pet she had when she was younger.

There are still a couple of presents under the tree, including the large red envelope tied with a golden ribbon.

That is THE gift for mama.

I do not know why I am suddenly nervous to give it to her. I take a few deep breaths and clear my throat. Aunt Kara hears me first and nods. “Yes Jamie?”

Everyone else falls quiet. Mom, Lena, and Aunt Kara are smiling because they know what is about to happen. I look at the women around me and not for the first time, marvel at their inner strength and vulnerability.

“Go on sweetheart,” Mom says.

Mama looks at the both of us curiously.

I reach for the envelope. “I wanted to do something extra special for everyone this year because...we are all still sad about Gran. I miss her all the time too, but I know she wouldn’t want us to keep feeling sad for something we don’t have control over.” I hand Mama the envelope. “Merry Christmas to Mama and Gran.”

Mama jerks at Gran’s name but she opens the envelope and starts reading. Aunt Kara is already crying and hugging Lena. By the time mama’s looks up her face is red and splotchy with tears. She is gripping mom’s hand so hard it is shaking.

“How did you…. when did you? How?” she sobs.

Mom wipes her face with a napkin. “It’s a long funny story but Jamie is the brains behind this one.”

Before I could say anything, Mama is gripping me with all her strength and crying her thanks in my ear. “You honored your Gran by doing this. I love you so much my sweet girl.”

“I love you too Mama,” I am crying into her shoulder now, “I don’t like seeing you so sad ok. You did everything you could for Gran and even though she’s gone, this will keep her with you. Your bond with science will always keep her close to you.”

Mom holds us while we cry. “You really are the best thing that could ever happen to us.”

“My sweet angel,” Mama whispers, “thank you for making me whole again.

Somewhere in the sky I know Gran is looking down smiling at us.

I love you too Gran.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be a multi-chaptered fic I had for Mother's Day but ended up changing it for the Winter Event. Any mistakes regarding publishing are mine and not the smart people I credited in the beginning.
> 
> Thanks for reading Merry Christams to all.


End file.
